2 other ways Reality Kills your Dreams

“Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I’m happy to say I have no grasp of it whatsoever.”   

– The Baron in the film *The Adventures of Baron Munchausen*


A couple of days ago I sent you an email about Reality being a Dream Killer.
(If you missed it, you can read it again here >>)

I shared about Reality killing the “creation” and “conception” of your dreams.

By being “realistic” your dreams don’t have the juice, the oomph, the desire behind them and they are often “stillborn”.  

Hence the reason many people have given up on dreams and goal-setting.  Are you one of them?

Let’s imagine you take my advice and get wildly unrealistic as you create your dreams. They are filled with succulence, daring and deep-desire.  

There are 2 other times when Reality plays the devastating, dream-wrecking role. 

One of these almost killed one of my big dreams a couple of years ago, but thank goodness I didn’t let it.   

Dream Killer 1:  The moment you start trying to figure out HOW to make it happen.

You get clear on your dream and you immediately leap into action trying to create strategies, plans and action steps.

No! This is not how manifesting works.    

The “HOW” is not up to you! 

No person who ever did anything GREAT knew HOW they were going to do it.  They simply knew THAT they were going to do it and they followed Life/ The Universe/ God’s “answers”.     

The “how it happens” is up the Infinite Field of Potential and Cleverness that exists outside of our individual, worm’s-eye-view understanding. 

There are 3 Steps to Manifesting what you Want

Step 1:  Ask for what you want
 (Let Go of any worry or stress about How it will happen eg. the “reality”.  Rather delight in the fantasy and the idea of it and bask in that “feeling good” of imagining it.)

Step 2:  Receive the “Answers”
a.    People, Opportunities, Things
b.    Inspired Thought

Step 3:   Take Inspired Action

And Most Importantly Enjoy the Journey!


Dream Killer 2:  The moment you use REALITY to Measure whether your Dreams and Goals are coming true.

Here’s an example from my own life:

In my 20’s and 30’s when people asked me “Do you want children?” I always had the same answer.

“Yes, I imagine being a mother.  But I only ever envision having one child.  I really want to have the right partner, and so I’ll wait for the right partner.   And if I haven’t met him by the time I’m ready to be a mother, then I may consider alternatives like adoption.”

In my late 30’s I met Geoff – my partner.  Our first few years of romance were so intoxicating that I was basking in the love-bubble bliss and was definitely not ready to be a Mom.   

Fast Forward to my 40’s.   

It was 2017, I was 42 and I was sitting in the Gynae’s office with Geoff.  I was ready.   Geoff and I had agreed that we would be open to the possibility of a child. 

If natural conception happened, then great, it was meant to be.  And if not, that was fine too.

Little did I know that the REALITY TRAP was sprung open during that consultation and was ready for me to step in.  It was the Gynae’s words:

“Look, you’re both old,” she said  “Collectively your age is 95.  You actually have more chance of winning the lottery than a natural conception.”

At the time I chose NOT to focus on her words and instead be in the fun, light, inspired,  playful and eager expectation that I know is the best vibration for manifesting what you want. 

But the following year there were moments that I was ensnared by the REALITY TRAP.   

“Mmmm, I’m not pregnant yet” – I started to focus on what I did NOT have, rather than appreciating what I did have and being eager for what is to come. 

There were days I got disheartened. I cried.  I wondered if it would happen for me.  “Oh my goodness, what was I thinking?  I left it way too late!”

There were days I felt miserable. I felt dejected. I felt like I’d missed the boat.

This is what happens when we use REALITY to measure whether our dreams and goals are coming true.

We feel fear.  We feel like a failure.  We doubt.  We question our self-worth. We compare ourselves to others.  We feel like giving up. 

And this is often the time that people DO give up. And sink back into their comfort zones or lives of mediocrity as dictated by “reality”.

The reality of being “too old” was threatening my dream of being a Mom. 

Luckily I know better.  
I stopped thinking about a baby and getting pregnant.  
I let it go and focused on other things that make me feel good. 
I travelled.  I wrote. I surfed. I yoga-d. I meditated.  I spent time with friends.  I went on retreat.

A few months later, in February of 2019, I was inspired to participate in my own Dreams & Goals with Soul Program as a participant, as well as the facilitator. 

During that 5-week program, I shifted through some limiting beliefs and created a Dream Map that included my dream for a child and to be a Mama. 

I connected into gratitude and appreciated my life with all the fullness it contained, without being a Mom. 

And I kept Letting GO of “reality” and visioning with delight and anticipation and deep faith and trust the possibility of being a Mama.   (This Feeling Good about your Dreams and Goals AND your current life is KEY.)

In June of 2019, I fell pregnant naturally and in March 2020 at the age of 44, I had my son Luke. 

The ONLY time Reality plays a role in your dreams and goals is in the Accomplishment of the Goal.  It is only in the moment that your Dream comes true that Reality will match your dream.  

Until the fruition of your dream, reality plays no role in the process.

So let that reality go!

P.S.   If you’d love to have the Experience of being Guided through Creating your Authentic Dreams and Goals and learn how to have a fun, easy journey while manifesting them…

… Please check out my Dreams & Goals with Soul 5-week Program and join us in manifesting what you truly want. 




Dig Deeper into the MAGIC!  These Links Lead the Way…