5 Steps to Turn Jealousy and Envy into a Force for Good

My boyfriend, Geoff, has more literary genius inside his left pinkie than I have in my whole being.

At the moment we are apart. I’m in Durban focusing on finishing the first draft of my next book and he’s in Angola working in his hard-hat and big boot, marine engineering world.

He sent me this voicenote:
“I’m really quite envious that you are in Durban finishing your book. I’m a little jealous.”

Jealousy and Envy are amazing emotions because they show you what you want.

They clearly highlight your desires.

They are not evil. They’re actually blinking billboards pointing the way towards your big dreams.

Geoffrey is jealous that I am writing my book because inside him is the desire to write books.

It’s that simple.

My friend and colleague, Bennie Naude has just returned from Australia after successfully doing his EFT and Matrix workshops and talks there.

Kate Emmerson another great friend, has recently had her book published in the United States.

My friend and amazing supporting cast member, Karen Thomson, has hit number 9 on the Amazon Bestseller List for her book in the UK.

Am I envious? Hell yeah!! Paint me green and call me Shrek.

Why? Because I want those things too!

My client Charmain Lines has just spent a month in Dublin doing a cooking course with top chefs from around the world.
Am I jealous?
No way. I’m pleased for her but jealousy doesn’t feature.

Why? Because cooking definitely isn’t one of my dreams or passions.

In these times, learning how to work with jealousy is needed more than ever.   

We are now all connected to the biggest, jealousy-inducing machine on the planet – Facebook.

It seems everyone is having amazing holidays, incredible successes, falling in love, having beautiful babies, sculpting their bodies, going to amazing parties etc. etc. etc. There is enough envy fodder during one quick glance at a newsfeed to make us all want to whither and feel “less than”.

If you don’t learn how to work with your envy monsters and shift them into powerful forces for good in your life, you may be left paralysed in the green, coveting cesspool of negativity.

Jealousy and envy are double-edged swords – they can be used for good or bad.

The bad version is the most common:

Instead of recognising the GIFT of the emotion –
You get bitchy and nasty about the person. You make up stories about how they must be “lacking” in other areas, to make yourself feel better.
You make yourself feel not good enough/ not smart enough/ not young enough/ not wealthy enough etc.
You move into erroneous scarcity thinking that if they have it, you can’t.
You throw yourself a pity-party – “Woe, why doesn’t it ever happen to me?”

Jealousy and Envy in this guise hardens your heart and fucks up your life.

To turn envy and jealousy into a force for good, here are 5 simple steps:

Step 1 – You notice the envy and jealousy and recognize that it points to something you want.

Step 2 – You figure out what that thing you want actually is.

Step 3 – Bless the thing that you want and the person in your life who currently has it.  You may want to say the blessing out loud or quietly to yourself:
“Bless John and bless his beautiful Mercedes.” (or whatever is the object of your jealousy).

This is the powerful and potent step to shift the energy and move you into abundance thinking.

Think about it:  When you are living your dreams, wouldn’t you prefer people to be happy for you and be blessing you instead of bitching behind your back?

Step 4 – Point yourself in the direction of that dream and make it happen for yourself.

Step 5 – And if you are really brave, you can engage with the person who has the thing you want and ask them to teach you or mentor you on how to get it.

You’ll probably be amazed at how willing they are to do this.

So before you take your next glance at your Facebook newsfeed or your Twitter stream, know that it is okay to feel jealous and remember these 5 quick steps to turn envy into fertiliser for your dreams.

Please share your thoughts about Envy and Jealousy with me in the comments below… I’d love to hear from you


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