1.    It is possible to live your dreams – no matter how wild, strange or unrealistic it initially seems. You can do anything.

2.    You are never given a dream or vision that you can’t achieve – if you can see it in your mind’s eye then you can have it, be it or do it.

3.    The first step is always the hardest, it is that leap of faith and then the net appears and the momentum of living your dreams begins.

4.    Listen to your body and your emotions, they are a clear indication of whether you are on the right path for you or not.  If you are continuously getting sick or feeling negative and down, it is your body’s way of telling you to make changes in your life.

5.    The fear never goes away.  Living an extraordinary life is about conquering the new fears as they come up.

6.    When you get an ANSWER from the Universe – take ACTION.   Actions are most effective when they follow an answer.

7.    Be brave enough to be your Authentic Self – when you express who you are and express your unique brand of genius and your incredible gifts that you have brought to the world, then the world comes up to meet you with opportunity.

8.    That having a few key people around who support your BIG dreams is so important during the times when you are experiencing self doubt.

9.    Take time in your day to connect to spirit – to connect to that which is ALL and EVERYTHING.

10.    The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions that you ask.  Ask good questions and the universe will ALWAYS provide the answers.

11.    That life is about having fun. It is about learning how to play again and rediscovering the magic, which we all knew and experienced in our childhoods but lost somewhere along the way as we grew up.

12.    Ask daily, “how can I serve today?”

13.    If it is not fun, stop doing it!

14.    Be grateful for everything that you have and for everything that you are creating.

What are some of your lessons that you have learned?

Please comment on your lessons below…

Part 2 – Overcoming your Fears

Part 1 of this post highlighted the 7 Deadly Fears that stop us from living our dreams.
If you are under attack by one of these fears, how would you know?  How would you know that you are in fear?

Due to the stealthy nature of these fears, you would probably not feel or even sense any physical changes that would indicate the presence of fear.  It is only when we are in heightened states of fear that we get the sweaty palms, the beating heart and the physical symptoms of fear.    The only way to catch these fears and to detect their lurking is to recognize that you are NOT TAKING ACTION. If you are not taking action in line with your dreams and goals, then you are in FEAR.

NOT TAKING ACTION = FEAR

In fact PROCRASTINATION is just a nice long word for fear!

There is an exercise for fear that thousands of people, who have attended my workshops, now use to step through their fears and into action.

The first step is to become aware that you are in fear.  If you have read part 1 of this post, the signs of fear will be more apparent.    When you are doing all those trivial little bits and pieces so that you avoid making that important phone call – then you are in fear.   When you go to fridge and spend an hour baking a cake and then eating it, so that you don’t have time to write that proposal – then you are fear.  If you go out partying with your friends or sit and watch three hours of meaningless television instead of doing the paper work required to form a new company – then you are in fear.   Lethargy, distraction, procrastination and busy-ness are all great cover-ups for fear.

Once you are aware that you are not taking action then you go down the list of fears to determine which fear it is that is prevalent and is preventing you from moving forward.

Once you have determined the fear that is creating the inertia (and it may be a combination of two or three of these fears).  Then you do the written exercise below

What action am I not taking?

What is the underlying fear(s)?

If I take this action

What is the best thing that can happen?

What is the worst thing that can happen?

You must do this as a written exercise.  If you try to do it in your mind instead of writing it all down, the fear inside your head, will try to rationalise and persuade you that the fear is perfectly justifiable.   Once you have done it as a written exercise you will notice that the worst thing that can happen is never as bad as the fear that you feel and often the worst thing that can happen is the current status quo.

Do you have any tips for overcoming fear – please share them with us, so that we can all learn from each other and can conquer our fears.

Overcome your fears, get into ACTION and start living your dreams.  You know you can do it – jump over your fear and DO IT NOW!

Part 1 – Naming the Fears

The biggest deterrent to taking the actions that are necessary to live our dreams is FEAR. 

There are 7 deadly fears that stop us from living our dreams and if you want to fly in life rather than crawl, then mastering these fears is a MUST!

There are two main types of fear – there is rational fear and irrational fear.
The cold, hard, steel barrel of a gun is pressed against your forehead, your heart racing , your adrenaline pumping and you are in a heightened state of fear – this is rational fear.  Rational fear is when your survival is actually in threat, when you are in a situation that is on the hairline between life and death.  Every other fear that we have is completely irrational and exists only in the mind and not out in reality. Irrational fear is incredibly clever at trying to maintain the status quo and keep us away from ‘perceived’ threats to our ego’s survival rather than our physical survival.

There are 7 irrational fears that are deadly assassins of dreams. 

They are

1.    The fear of the power of authority or not fulfilling the wishes of authority

This fear is why the police work in some countries and don’t in others.   In South Africa the fear of the authority of law is not present amongst the criminal element and so they continue to take the action of committing crime.

2.    The fear of not knowing enough

This fear stops many people from following their dreams.  Some dreamers wish to start their own businesses but get paralysed before they even begin because they are concerned that they don’t know enough.  They spend time laboriously writing 100 page business plans because they believe that it is a good way to gain knowledge before starting.  The truth is that if you have a dream or a vision to do something then you have the ability to do it.  We are never sent vision or dreams of things that we can’t accomplish.  You may be stretched to reach your dream, but you will never be able to hold a vision of something that is unattainable.  The adage of “if you can dream it, you can do it” is absolute

3.    The fear of Failure

The threat of failure strikes terror into the hearts of people wanting to live their dreams and then because of this fear the person does not take action and so they sit in a world of failure anyway.  The paradox of success is that the only way to reach your dreams is to fail.  Somehow in a school system with rules of right and wrong we were taught that failure is bad and wrong.  If this is your take on failure then it is time to shift your perception and your view of failure to ensure that it doesn’t stop you from pursuing your goals.  (I will be writing more about ‘How to deal with Failure’ in a future Blog Post!)

4.    Fear that I won’t make enough money

The fear of bills stacked up at the end of the month and no funds in your bank account may be the convenient excuse that your small self uses to keep you in a job that you hate, with colleagues you despise and living a routine life of boredom.

Now examine your life and tell the truth. No matter what the circumstances you have always managed to get by. Somehow when it comes to money and what you need, you have always made a plan to survive.  Perhaps not thrive, but you have always survived.   So why do you think that living the life of following your dreams will be any different?

5.    The fear of losing the respect of a loved one

This was one of my major fears in becoming a Fairy Godmother. I was really concerned about how my mother would react to my creatively outlandish dream of becoming a modern-day fairytale character.

6.    The fear of rejection by society

This fear ripples out beyond the close circle of family, friends and acquaintances.   This fear is one where you are concerned about society as a whole.  This fear keeps Muslim women from venturing out without a male escort in Arab countries.    This fear has seen gay people hide their authentic selves in the proverbial closet because of the anti-gay sentiment prevalent until a few decades ago.   Bill Cosby has a beautiful quote that highlights the absurdity of this fear. He said “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

7.    The fear of ill health or lack of physical wellbeing

This fear is one of the reasons I have not yet strapped a parachute to my back and hurled myself out of a small plane circling thousands of feet above the earth.  I am worried about the SPLAT.    People who do adrenaline sports do not have this fear and consequently push themselves and their bodies through the envelope of possibility to kiss the beautiful rush that comes from moving beyond fear.

Now that you have become aware of these different types of fears that exist – which ones can you relate to?  There are probably two or three that really resonate for you – these are the fears that stop you.    I would love to hear from you as to how some of these fears show up in your life and stop you – comment below.

Next week you will be able to read Part 2 on how to Overcome these Fears!

If you have had a conversation with me in the last few months you may have heard me say “I’m manifesting a winter lover”. I could imagine nothing nicer than a warm body to cuddle up next to during this big FREEZE rather than my current bedtime companion – the hot water bottle.

As a Fairy Godmother, I teach people about how to create and manifest what they want in their lives. In my life, I put my teaching into practice and have managed to attract the most amazing opportunities, people, work, travel and fun. Yet, in the area of my winter lover, despite getting clear on what I wanted, doing my VAKGO visioning every morning for a month, telling people about it, it is now 4 months later and…. NOTHING!

Even though I know better, I have been stamping my foot impatiently and in the last month have been starting to demand at the universe “where is my god damn winter lover that I have been asking for?”

Then I met my friend Simon last week and he shared about how he was inspired about my idea of a winter lover when he heard it about month ago. He then gleefully and blissfully told me that he has since manifested a sexy, French winter lover who actually leaves to go to India in 3 months – so she really is just a winter lover.

WHAT?!!!!

I have been asking for FOUR months and yet Simon manifests his lover in a matter of weeks?

I was seriously starting to question my Fairy Godmother manifesting abilities, but then as he described his manifestation of his lover, the lesson hit me like a thunderbolt from the blue –

You see, Simon decided he wanted a winter lover, he got clear on what he was looking for and then he did something about it. Firstly, he put an advert on the Gumtree saying he was looking for a winter lover, he then signed up to a dating website, he went on a few dates and he went up to a few interesting girls and asked them for their numbers. And….. Voila! After 3 weeks of setting his intention, Simon has a gorgeous winter lover who he is having loads of fun with.

The lesson is, if you want to manifest something in reality you have to TAKE ACTION!

I, on the other hand, have been all visioning and talk and NO ACTION and the RESULT = NO WINTER LOVER.

If I look back at the last 4 months, the universe has sent me lots of “answers” to my asking and opportunities to take action and yet I have conveniently ignored my part of the manifesting process.

Opportunity number 1:

Within a week of me getting clear and starting to vision a winter lover, my friend Grant, told me he had the perfect book for me and a week later he placed it in my hands.

It is called “The Program – how to find a husband after 30” and when I read the title I thought “I’m not looking for a husband, merely a lover” and since then the book has been gathering dust. Who knows what pearls of wisdom could be hidden in that book that could have helped me manifest a warm, bedtime buddy?

Opportunity number 2:

Another helpful friend, Michelle, suggested Internet Dating and even gave me the Dating Buzz URL and 3 good reasons why I should do it. Despite me nodding in agreement, my inner voice made up some excuse about “not having time” and the result…. Well, Michelle has found her winter lover. She scores 1 and I score 0.

A Myriad of Opportunities

In hindsight, as I look back over the last 4 months I can see that the Universe has been sending me opportunity after opportunity to take some action which will enable me to realize my dream and yet I have embarrassingly done NOTHING about it.

And it has taken me four months to actually realize that even though I have been speaking about it, I have been DOING nothing about it.

Creation happens first in thought, then in speaking and then through action.

So if you are stuck with a dream or goal that you want to turn into reality then ask yourself

Are you taking Action?

My action is that I have just joined Dating Buzz…. despite my little inner voice being negative about online dating. Who knows what other opportunities it may bring?

Watch this space!

Samarie Smith from Die Burger recently attended a Dream Mapping and Goal Setting Workshop and then afterwards interviewed me, the Fairy Godmother. She asked some thought provoking questions and so I thought it would be great to blog the questions and answers to provide valuable tips to pursuing your dreams.

SS: What is dreaming and why should we dream?

FGM: Dreaming is the most powerful tool for creating your life – it is the time when you let your imagination wander, you get in touch with your desires, you get in touch with your soul and then you begin to see images in your mind’s eye of how you would like those desires to be fulfilled in reality. The reason why we should spend time dreaming is because everything that exists in reality is actually created twice – first as a dream in our minds and then secoundly out in reality. Everything that is and has ever been created starts with a dream, it is really the beginning of the act of creation.

[Read more →]

One of my first ever Fairy Godmothering duties was to help an actor who wanted to become a World Famous Stand-up Comedian. The job was to wand-wave and to kick-start him on the path to his dreams.

That was a few years ago and over a number of delicious burgers at Royale in Cape Town, with many scribbles on sheets of paper and a whole lot of wand-whacking to get him into action, Nik Rabinowitz took the super courageous step of putting on his first one man show called “One Man, One Goat”. The show was very well received in the original little theatre space that he used in Obz cafe. And as his courage grew and he took more action and his popularity grew too (funny how action tends to yield results!). And I flushed all over with Fairy Godmother pride when earlier this year I sat with 200 other people and watched Nik do his one man show in Jo’burg, which he packed out every night for a month!

And now Nik is back with a new show and is truly living his dreams

For those dreamers who are in Cape Town, go and watch the show and support Nik as he dares to live his dreams. Of course, he will keep you in stiches in the process…